My who life has been interesting, but that’s just my opinion

This year has been one of those intense years. Intense can lead to many things, and a ticked off people against trigger happy people. Some fight one way and others another. 

The Africans always went to father and allow him to decide. Then suddenly father and brother and mother were gone and there was just a few of you left and they were all men standing around you, saving you for themselves. 

I can’t say if a Democrat could have done any better than a Republican one this last couple of years. I can’t say having them in office has made too much a difference in my life. My life is still being dictated to me and many are still being killed openly with all the technology being used to show us what will happen if we get outta line.

Things have not changed that much at all. People are still killing each other and getting away with it. People still can’t stay home and make a living with a college degree, or a permission slip from the government that expires once a year and has to be renewed. Why do I have to get permission from anyone to do what I want on my own property. 

And now I have the information that is needed online to get the help I need to do projects. I don’t need you help so why am I being charged by the government to build a house, why I need permission, to start a business, permission slip, to drive a car, permission slip. Registering a car should be done when the car is purchased. There should be a one time registering of the vehicle and a tag in place when the car is sold off the lot.  Everything has a cost and should it not. The cost is so high to keep your family together it is tearing many families apart. And we still argue and don’t get it, we are all slaves not unless you are a part of the group that causes all these problems, and make decisions that only affect us, the people. If they don’t have to live by it neither do I. The moment you make me live by something you don’t live by and lock me away and take all my stuff and throw it away keeping the good stuff. For driving to fast without killing anyone or causing an accident, speed recorders should not be used by anyone, away with the radar guns. 

And prices are forever on the rise, so they can get their cut, how do some people need to feel content. We as a nation have lost compassion for others who lost a loved one. We are immune to seeing death. And crave it so badly, we watch shit like Jason and Michael Myers and fall asleep with it playing in your head over and over all night long and we wonder why we worse than the lion, the lion looking for food. But humans looking for a prey because they have seen to much Jason and shit and to many shoot em up games that are the most popular one. Talk about a mind that need a good douche, and not summers eve. A time away from electronics, drive into a neighborhood and see if you make it out alive.  But please enough with the Jason shit, we need HELP because killing is the most popular thing on the news and television shows and reality shows they threatening someone else life and being out right nasty to each other to the tune of if you were on fire I want even spit on you. I do hope she would call 911. Just snazzy to say, supposed to make us tough when we talk snazzy shit to each other, but it can make you laugh to.

Too much snazz with someone that doesn’t know you can be dangerous, you never know if you dealing with a predator. They blend in, they look like every other human on this planet. They walk upright, they need food, air and water just to live, but they are a different breed. They will kill you the moment you do or say something to tic them off and they got pleasure in killing you and can just let it go. You could have called them a fool or something. What if fool is the word that was used every time someone did something horrible to them and no one believed them and they had to go back to that and now they are punished because they told and one day they no longer feel. What makes a predator, maybe lots of damaging things to turn someone into a killer. 

There was a time when people were dragged out of their home and killed on site for whatever, let’s say charged with being alive. The door was kicked in and a group of men would rush into your home and tie your hands behind your back before hanging you from a tree. That practice was outlawed, bone shaking. Cars were shot up, people were dragged behind horses, all because they were considered your property. No such thing, human trafficking and a lot more of those Bible ways have been let go. We were freed but we are still being held captive.

We continue to see over and over again what will happen to you if you get in our way. We can and will do whatever we want to you and get away with if you get out of line and don’t even think about coming up we will tar and feather you if you think about walking away from me, I will make your life miserable if you don’t do as I say. Only thing is it’s not being said, but it’s what’s happening all over the place. If you get in our way we will kill you, come out and say it and please we are free. We don’t have to pay taxes and we want our fourth acres pronto and to be left alone. 

Women are being given hysterectomies without their consent. Or did they sign it as a part of a release and not knowing it and are now being held until the procedure is done???

We don’t know why they hold them so long and they seem to never go to trial. It’s the same customs many suffer from in many lands that hold them for nothing until they die, no justice, many are innocent in jail waiting trial. 

All I have seen is more laws that tell us we don’t have control over our life. Just because it was put into writing does not mean it is right. Unfair practices against another for gain should be done away with but that would cause a war with those who refuse to give up the power they have over us. They rather kill us than let us go because they consider us their property. What would our freedom cost us, our freedom gave us nothing. All our ancestors had work and not one red penny, just your freedom. Nothing to help you on you journey, not even a bus ticket so you could look for the sister that was sold, of the children that were sold, not even a handkerchief. Nothing was given, but you were told, you can continue to live here and work for me and I still want pay you. You should be paying me for sleeping in the barn, as a matter of fact you can work my fields and that should cover it.

We were let go by Abraham Lincoln with nothing, no one, strangers all around. Coming here in chains around your fucking neck and not understanding any thing that is being said and being poked at and probed and held like an animal because you had not been broke yet. Sex was next, sex with anyone they wanted to keep and break. Rape them while they scream no and beat them before sex, during sex, after sex and keep food away from them.

Place a chain on their neck and tie them out from the place where you live and they will soon learn how to appreciate you.

And then suddenly people were set free with nowhere to go and nothing at all, and were told they could not nest in the woods. And if they don’t have a job they will be arrested and they better not gang up and stand around talking to each other and no large crowds and there was nowhere to go with nothing. Not even the clothes that you made from the left over cloth from masser wife. And all the clips of threat she had you to sweep up in a pile and tell you that you can have it if you dig it out of the trash.

And that gal did dig the thread and cloth from the trash and she was the woman who took all that threat and cloth she dug out of the trash and made clothes with it only to have her ideals stolen and used by others to make money they want share with her as she make dress after dress and shirt and slacks. But they would allow you a place to sleep outside in the barn.

I plan to stop watching tv as long as I can during the day. I’m going to try and watch only thirty minutes with very little news. I will change channels and give each channel a few minutes. I’m tired or watching what masser doing to people on tv and then getting away with and the government is the one who gives them permission to keep us in line because they the only ones who prosper.

I’m going to get quiet and listen to my own got damn thoughts because I can’t express myself to the news. They have everything to tell us but during that time we can’t talk back with them and they just sit there like robots day after day not giving a damn about what is going on around them. News stations continue to cover the killings day after day because that’s what we wanna see. I guess we like looking at killings we have become immune to it and don’t even know it. We just afraid it will happen to us and will there ever be justice, what gone happen to the killer who wore a badge and had been given the go ahead and kill me at will and I got your back with my military. Trained in the art of killing and are willing to kill at my command, prompt. These are my best robots. 

Many people have witnessed open killings brought by the police and they now live in fear that the same thing will happen to them if they open their mouth. So the crime goes unpunished and the same black and white cat drive thru the neighborhood all day long making you fell threatened.

We are in a constant state of fear and anger and we hold it all inside and hide the way we really feel by trying to be bold and blaming the one who got killed for not complying and calling the person bad because the news painted the picture so the killer can get away. 

We hold it all in, the fact that we afraid they will kill us and no compassion at all for the ones who have to bury their loved one. We have tried so hard to be like masser, we now act and think like masser, we well trained and house broken too...

A phone rings and someone on the other ends says come quick something bad has happened to your most dear loved ones. We should as a mother cherish the life of our children more than anything on this planet, we should love them so much we will go up side that head when we know they wrong. 

Body cams are capturing all kind of demented shit that we clearly can see for ourselves and the perp still get off. There was a time when we didn’t have body cams. Now body cams are being used to show public execution. And we watch the whole thing and they still get off. And the message is clear, the same thing will happen to you if you get in our way, don’t get out of line. 

The Dons, underworld into kings

 I’m afraid the real Don gone come out during this election.

He says only way he does not win this election is if it is rigged.

He does not take no for an answer, he wants it he takes it. 

He USE all those who are willing to die for him to help him maintain his way of life. What do I get out of the deal. I’m tired of being treated like property for profit.

We cant even mourn our loved one who are murdered. I grieve the loss of both of my children, but I have a hard time accepting the murder of my son. Many people like myself are told just move on. Don’t you understand I can’t. I need answers.

Many people live in my shoes and my heart goes out to them. Give us our space and relearn how to grieve with us. Y’all throw us away when we are grieving. It’s hard for us to care for ourselves let alone another, waking up after a restless night of loosing a loved one is a horrible nights sleep. Moving is not easy, getting out of a bed after a sleepless night of panic attacks and bad dream after dream, I can’t just move on. Being told I need to get back to work shows me we still live in ancient Egypt where we have to keep on working and moving so masser want kill us too. Step over the dead and keep you ass a moving or the hands will whip you. Be careful how you allow another to use your hands and your heart. 

We not in Egypt or the wilderness anymore but we still live that life and suffer from the PTSD passed down by our ancestors and being told just don’t say anything for fear of being killed, we not there anymore, but we are still suffering from the shock of it. 

Killing after killing after senseless killing. Wildfires killing, flooding from one hurricane after the other, the North Pole melting, COVID-19 and we not even over the first wave and many people are still being exposed day after day, what the hell Messiah wants, and all I can hear is slaves you better keep moving because my money means more to me than you ever will...

If you want to keep on voting for Messiah, Masser, Master my blessings I give you. If you on his side to help him maintain the White House. To maintain his elaborate way of life, and you still in the fields picking someone else cotton. Got a house you can’t enjoy, got a job and not a volunteer to help the sick and shut in keep on voting and waiting on god to save you. 

What will The Don’s plans be if he want take no for an answer. And what if he refuse to give up his spot in four years and then decide he want to hand the country over to his son. Under world king...

I vote to abolish the current government and have the people decide what is best for their community

Most sacred thing in the universe is life

 Life is the most sacred thing on the planet. Why we can’t seem to get it.

Once it’s gone you want me to move on from them blink so easy. You went me to do what? Pretend they were never here and keep going until blink,  you too are gone and in many cases forgotten.

As we witness countless after countless killings and countless deaths, and destructions, and wars still raging and more killing we gone soon become extinct. 

And how television is a great form of mind control, the news is a way street. And then they move on to the next killing and sitting there like a robot, acting like they have no feeling at all about what had happened, or even the person who dictates during court. How do they do it, day after day in murder cases typing the same disturbing news over and over. Murders need to be dealt with swiftly, locked away and a next day hearing before a judge who selected by the family. A real judge who has studied the trial and check up on all the evidence can submit their names before the family and the family decides what judge they will select and he has to do the job for ten dollars more than the twelve jurors chosen and ready to be asked are they willing stay in the guarded courthouse with no contact from the outside until the murder trial is over.

People can be chosen from all over the place can be asked if they are willing to prove innocent or if they are willing to prove him guilty...

The victim, it’s the DA job to prove someone really killed that person, they have to do their homework too with no help from someone who is paid by the government. The DA should not be able to use the police to do any investigations none whatsoever, but he can call them to the witness stand to ask them what do they really know or seen happened, not them saying someone told me that is what happened. You get the point.

The police should no longer be allowed to pull anyone over and not allowed to search their car at all. They should not be allowed to cuff a person hands behind their back. They should be charged if they chase someone, they should get the tag number of the person and go to the courthouse along with everyone else who wish to file a complaint about someone not driving right on the roads.

The courthouse should issue a letter with that person name and address, the officer should not know where people live. They should not be allowed to drive thru neighborhoods, joy riding while on duty and starting trouble, being a bully just because they have a gun and badge.

If we got a problem with someone we should file a complaint and if we need gun power we then call the police.

They should make seven fifty to eight dollars an hour because of all the equipment they have to have. Either cut back on the equipment or pay them less and no more seizing cars and taking away other people drugs and they somehow get on the streets. Why you get to take away what belongs to someone else and decide what should happen to it and them. File a complaint and let the court send out a certified letter.

Life is the most sacred thing on this planet and when it’s gone there is no got dame coming back. You me and no one else has the right to take it away. There is no coming back from death. All that it’s takes to get us here, it’s a blessing just to make it into life. Death Comes Easy. But life is hard to bring. Bring life brings joy. The loss of life, the knowing it’s truly gone, they never coming back is the worse feeling I have ever had. Life on the planet is that to me sacred and should be cherished. No one is above no one else when a life is taken. Sacred, life is sacred and should be put over profit and the slaves need to wake up, we still have to walk past death like we don’t see it if we want to keep on living.

We desire to live because life feels good. I like life and life around me, I don’t believe in the after life of me and no other, once we gone away from here there is no coming back. Breonna Taylor never coming back and the circumstances surrounding her death tells us we really are not a part of the system that was set up by white supremacy and still governs the whereabouts of all of its properties. We are just that a property for profit and we are still expected to walk straight and don’t look master in the eye or he may kill you, keep your head down and walk and work and don’t talk back, you not allowed to speak, slave we will kill you and the rest will stay in line and they better keep right on walking or we will open fire and nothing will be done because your life does not matter anyway.

My brain feels like my eyes see that going on around me on a daily basis and the news is the carrier pigeon keeping us and them informed of the now, the news helping in a chase, tampering with a case, leaking evidence. Nothing of a trial should be mention on television or radio or news paper until after the trial if they still want to report on it. 

The world is crumbling around us...

This morning my eyes didn't feel like straining while trying to write my thoughts using my cellphone so I decided to write it in a journal and then come back and rewrite it here. As I was writing the date September 17th, 2020, I almost wrote 2021, not the year 2021, but like 20, 21, you get the picture. Sometimes my mind will keep going like that and I will loose my train of thought and then I have to try hard to circle back through my brain and remember what I was thinking in the first place that compelled me to write in the first place.

I like watching the show that comes on early in the morning, the one with Gayle King, CBS this morning. Its a great in the moment, a right now show that keeps up with current life altering events that we do't seem to be concerned with. 

I will take this moment to tell you I'm a bit eccentric and think way outside the box but I think now is a great time to be concerned about the flooding and fire things and the melting away of the ice from the North Pole, I bet Santa is upset as hell and wondering what the hell we plan on doing. And now the fires are burning out of control and Covid 19 is plaguing the world and sickness and death and it feels like an apocalypse is next and all we can find time to do is argue about the color of skin and not the fires and the flooding and sickness and all we wanna do is fucking argue about he said she said like a we still two fucking years old. Who gives a fuck what that muther fucker said, did they fucking hit you let them muther fucking, some kind of a bitch, raggedy ass, flies on the wall, big toed and little toed stank jam between the toed muther fuckers talk. 

We got flames in the West, flooding in the South trying to surround us and put us out because we just so hot and overheated with each other every single day with all this fucking hate and despising we have towards each other for no apparent reason at all. On a daily basis we spit out words of condemnation towards people we don't even seem to know, just so much hatred towards them wising they would all just die and they wising the same thing right back at you and the waters still rising and the flames still burning trying to help cool us off. 

We all know water and fire don't mix, but fire sent a Memo to water and it read something like this:

Dear Water, we need to meet and discuss all this heat and drama being caused by the ones called humans, they so hot and bothered with each other the North Pole is melting and Santa is alarmed, he and Jack Frost have been blowing winds this way trying to help cool them down. Now me personally,  I'm damn sick and tired of this same ole shit on a different day every day of the week. We need to get together and see if we can't bring the humans together, I'm sick and tired of these muther fuckers hotter than me with no compassion or regards to anyone, not even a new born baby, lets come together and see if we can't help find a solution to the problem. 

Sincerely Yours, Flames of Fire

Water responded and said. Fire I completely agree with you, shit has been out of control, but there was a time when I thought things were cooling down, man was I wrong. Santa reached out to me as well and advised me the waters are melting pretty fast. However, I'm convinced it will take Noah and his Arch floating by with many up to their neck in water yelling I'm sorry, I will TRY and do better if you just give me a ride. 

Sincerely Your, Water (AKA) H2O

I'm no religious fanatic believing God gone swoop down, nor send a band of angles to save only me. And no one else will be saved because I'm the only one right and my way is the only way, NOPE, not me. I think the bible is the problem. Many feel it's acceptable in the sight of god to be mean and nasty to others because they are doing the work and will of god because he will forgive them and allow them eternal life in a fairy tale castle with golden streets and pearly gates, bowing and worshiping him all day, now he was full of himself too and thought he could do no wrong. If god forgave Cain for murdering his own brother for no reason at all, surely he will forgive me. Many people think that way with and show no regard at all to the life of another because they just know god will allow them into his fairy tale place and they will be rewarded. Your only reward after life is death, will people be glad you dead or will they mourn you and hate to see you go. Charles Manson has been on the cover of way to may magazines for my liking over the years. Why do the bad guys get treated with more respect than those who respect life, because god of the bible had no respect at all for the life of another.  

If enough ice melts I wonder what route will the water take once it start to run off  how far across the lands will it spread and how much flooding will it cause, will it flood the oceans and seas and rivers. And will all the excess water evaporate into the atmosphere and cause excess raining which can and will lead to more flooding. And we still not concerned with the outcome of this thing. We still cat fighting and pulling hair and arguing over a man and the color of skin and he said and she said and they don't like me. 

What if we can do more to help stop the flooding before it happens, but all that takes free thinking and not thinking an imaginary friend named god is the reason it is happening and he is going to make it all stop and go away and send all those I don't like to hell, NOPE, not gonna happen. We can sit and beg god to come save us, dear god we will change our wicked ways if you just stop the flooding all day and into the wee hours of the morning and nothing will happen. And in the next breath curse the scientist who work day and night to make the world a better place claiming they think they god. God may have been a scientist to the reason he was able to fool so many folks and people still fear him today, we do know he was worse than Adolf Hitler, I have read a few words in the bible too.

If that's the case we are the gods causing it to happen and we need to stop because if water and fire can come together why can't we?

Don’t have to like, please respect

 You don’t have to like me, it’s ok. I don’t know if I have offended you in a specific way, if I have offended you please forgive me I walk in humanity not remembering every moment, I don’t think I have done anything that can’t be forgiven. At least I hope I haven’t been so mentally ill I took away another’s life.

If I have done nothing to offend you and you just happen to not like me based on just what you happen to see, if what you see and not what you know or something I personally done like taken a life. I don’t know god but I agree with him, thou shall not kill, not unless there is a deep need to protect self from immediate harm. The flight or flight.

If you that intense at work and your job make you feel like your life is always in danger of being shot or attacked my heart goes out to you and I don’t want that job, I live it everyday. Because people are allowed to carry weapons and take away from the comfort we see and being told openly we don’t matter and not even knowing who people are, just look and decide they ain’t no got damn good, I need to kill that SON OF A BITCH need killing.

Don’t kill them leave them THE FUCK ALONE.

Just because you a bigot don’t mean you have to fuck with others, allow that person that PERSON to do wrong, wait until they do wrong by you, something worth not forgiving. And no I’m not talking about slavery. I’m talking about a Hugo if shit that person did to you today in your life time and not what they blood may have done.

Forgive and let’s move on where we can always extend a helping hand and not just money and food. 

Please remember......you don’t have to fuck with someone just because you don’t like them. 

Thing’s today are falling apart around us and we still arguing over color of skin and not focusing on helping restore balance to the planet...